Jumping the Bride

   She doesn’t have a smile on her face; she looks unhappy.

He’s trying to put his foot down, to stabilize himself. It’s up in the air. She’s lost the front of her dress and she’s looking for it. They’re taking pictures of her. He looks like an ardent fan, not really a groom. The photographer is upset because the man carrying flowers is late, and he’s waiting ‘till the bride gets her bouquet to take the picture. I agree with that.

   She’s a model, she’s posing. She needs the bouquet to complete the ensemble. She doesn’t look like she wants to be

there. She’s disappointed, unhappy about the situation. A new combination of people of all races, creeds and talents. They’re definitely outside, in some sort of yard. There’s nothing around but a camera and a stepstool. It’s some sort of warehouse. They’re in Minneapolis. Los Angeles. She looks sad because she’s about to get hit on the head with flowers.

   He’s running: “I’m here! I’m here! Here are the flowers!” Where are the flowers? She’s been standing there waiting for the flowers. “I’m sorry I’m late for our wedding, and I’m surprised there are no other people. Am I in the right place?” She’s saying, “If you wore long pants, then they’d be here!”

   She says, “How did I get into this mess?” and he says, “I’m sorry, I got my dates mixed up.” He says, “I’m going to put my other foot on the ground.” She says, “Don’t jump on me, I’m only a bride.” She says, “You’re always late, never on time.” She’s called the lady in waiting.

She looks sad because she wants him to leave her alone If I were wearing a half pretty dress…it’s not a daytime dress…I don’t know. Is she running away from something? Because she’s running away with flowers.

   The one who’s putting his foot down is Alfred. She’s pretty, and a bride and has something on top of her head. Her name is Bambi. Joe and Linda. Franco and Imelda. Charlie and Penny. They both look sad. I don’t like it. I’ve had a lot of it. I notice the woman approaching the basket and is aiming to throw it on the basket.

   They’re brother and sister. She’s mad at him because he’s late. She’s posing for a bridal magazine, and she got him the job. She’s pissed at him for being late. I like the premise; she got him the job, but there was traffic! I don’t think they know each other. I don’t think they do either. His name is José. He’s supposed to be bringing pizza. He says, “Oops!” and she says, “Piss off!”

   They’ve been dating for three months, and they just want to have an unusual wedding, where the groom jumps next to the bride, and they say their vows. He’s landed already; he’s got his foot on the ground. He’s there. He says, “I’m here! I’m here! I’m here!” and she says, “Who cares?” He says, “Let’s get into my truck and drive by the shore.”

   The director is saying, “Cut! It’s a wrap!”